A lot has changed since my depression period, but I still couldn't find my passion anymore. I think it killed a small part of me. I don't like cooking, I don't like editing videos or pictures. I'm still retaining my liking of taking pictures but I guess that's about it. I've learnt that I have new interests now such as:
1. I don't believe in love. Okay hear me out, I love dearly the people in my heart. The love I'm referring to is, love between a guy and a girl. relationships, marriages. I'll probably write a whole post about this.
2. I don't trust new humans anymore. Those I have trusted before this, I still trust but any new humans come popping into my life... I made sure that we are only aquaintances. Cuz, I don't give a fuck you know?
3. I can no longer care about what people think of me. Usually I'm a people pleaser and I love helping cuz it gives me some sort of feeling. I dont feel it anymore. I'll just say or do what ever the fuck my mind and heart wants to do cuz....... Idk. I wish I can change back but I cant.
4. I'm losing friends faster than Eminem's rap thanks to my unresponsiveness. Honestly, I'm sad about this. I really am but, Idk what to do.
5. I'm more introverted now. Idk anymore how to socialize. I'm shy af when I'm in a group of humans. This also saddens me. But I guess I'll have to pull through.
6. I no longer know myself. Every I question myself, all I can say is.. "Idk"
7. I no longer feel like I want to welcome new humans to my life.
8. I no longer care about my goals. My aspiration is my treasure not personal goals. Personal goals are merely distraction and to entertain myself. There is nothing that I enjoy doing anymore.
I don't know anymore where I stand in life. I really dont know. I wish I have answers.
