Cuz its the only thing I stare at when I am thinking. I have been keeping too much secrets and thoughts to myself. I dont know whether that is a right or a wrong thing to do. By right, I should swallow it like a little bitter pill. Trying not to "judge" others. Trying to be "good". Trying to do "good". In the end, I always walk away and do the opposite. Recently, I did things, I'm not sure whether its appropriate to post here. and that thing I did, made me SPILLED ALLLL OF MY HIDDEN THOUGHTS, and its all pointing to this one girl. Thing is, I dont know whether i should feel proud or feel crappy.
Proud: cuz, its been within me for quite a long time and so its finally out. I am no longer at my melting point aka my geram point or the sglkjeroigqj;g point.
Crappy: Cuz I've realised. I must be such an asshole. Speaking out without filtering anything. Speaking frankly. Whatever comes into mind, comes out my mouth. I felt soooooooooo crappy the next morning. I felt crappy for her. I felt crappy for myself.
The things I spilled were actually, "minor problems" that I see in her, those habits or the things she does that tend to be overlooked. When I care for a friend, I tend to dismiss their "minor flaws".
Who'd knew that they'll actually build up and one day get spilled!
Well then, the next day, another friend of mine, Pau told me everything. It was so horrifying. Idk. I felt like covering my whole head with a plastic bag and just die suffocating. No. I am not proud of what I did but yeah. Shit happens la. I cant turn back time. I didn't know that I am such an asshole. Still I'm asking myself, what did I do to deserve real good friends. I am done telling you how stupid I can be, lemme tell you a little something bout them. I can tell you that they have been by my side no matter what happens. Wont be moving an inch, and I believe even if the world ends, they will still be there. They.... hmm. Haha...
One of them, not to say I dont sayang the other. I swear to God i do... but meh :/ it's so hard to explain, made such a big impact to me, and my self esteem, God knows, I'm grateful of this EVERYDAY. No, I'm not lucky I'm blessed. Yes. God knows how much "terharu" moments I have when we are together. (Wow, I like using God in almost all my sentences. hahahaa cuz its so damn true!) cuz she can be so caring. Lemme give you a hint to what extent. She takes care of me when I'm high or low despite her own problems. Like we all have pending colloqs, but she'd be giving me encouragement. Why is that I always need to be encouraged? Why am I so weak? (Ya ampun, nak nangis la when I think of her. Why does she get a dumb dumb like me as a friend.) ALWAYS so patient even though I CAN be super annoying at times. She'd do things, no one would do, hmm okay I'm not gonna tell what she did exactly. Cuz its embarassing for me la~
Such a caring person, who knows under that fierce face of hers, that glares and stares she does if she doesn't know you.... underneath ALL that is a sweetheart. Oh, speaking of the devil, she asked for my link, she must be a stalker! Its like she knows that I'm talking bout her. Well, I have to finish this post first. (this is a very late post btw!) I can go on and on about her la. One day I shall publish a post about her la, one fine day~ Our journey won't end here. I believe that we will continue on growing together side by side. Oh ya have I mentioned that, I REALLY REALLY VALUE our friendship. Cuz why? She is so supportive, NEVER in my mind have I ever seen her as my "rival"! YES we always go through the same shit, but when we go through them, I felt like we go through them together. Helping each other so BOTH of us can reach the finish line TOGETHER. It's something I've never felt before. To be at the finishing line together, not racing to the finishing line. All in all, I felt like, she is just so sincere. I still remember a friend of mine in TMC once told me that everyone in this world is selfish. I don't see that in her. she is SELFLESS. If I won the 6 grammy awards, I'll just hand all of that to her.I really look up at her, a strong ninja. A real friend, no, not a friend. a sister. yea, that sounds right. My twin sister. Hahah. we SAME SAME ......but DIFFERENT. One of the people that I sayang gila babi. If I take dope, I definitely know I need her more than dope :D
What is the purpose of this post? I dont know too. I just felt like posting these things. Well, you know kan, I've been staring at the ceiling. Wondering what did I do? To deserve such amazing people around me? I can still remember my last post about me wondering what kind of friend am I? Maybe this is a part two.
I am the type of person who values friends. Maybe cuz when I was growing, I dont know how feels to have the real mother-daughter or father-daughter bond thingy. I dont share them my secrets. Yea I am a secretive person! But I tend to open myself up to my friends. I've always believed that other than my family.. true friends will never leave too. FUUUWAH so jiwang, but true, for my special friends, who've earned a special place in my heart, I'd wanna do anything to make them feel better. I'd wanna help them selflessly, and if I have a boyfriend, I know I'll put them as my priority, then my boyfriend/lover. Hmm now, I'm gonna sleep, its 6pm. Yeah my sleeping pattern sucks!
Proud: cuz, its been within me for quite a long time and so its finally out. I am no longer at my melting point aka my geram point or the sglkjeroigqj;g point.
Crappy: Cuz I've realised. I must be such an asshole. Speaking out without filtering anything. Speaking frankly. Whatever comes into mind, comes out my mouth. I felt soooooooooo crappy the next morning. I felt crappy for her. I felt crappy for myself.
The things I spilled were actually, "minor problems" that I see in her, those habits or the things she does that tend to be overlooked. When I care for a friend, I tend to dismiss their "minor flaws".
Who'd knew that they'll actually build up and one day get spilled!
Well then, the next day, another friend of mine, Pau told me everything. It was so horrifying. Idk. I felt like covering my whole head with a plastic bag and just die suffocating. No. I am not proud of what I did but yeah. Shit happens la. I cant turn back time. I didn't know that I am such an asshole. Still I'm asking myself, what did I do to deserve real good friends. I am done telling you how stupid I can be, lemme tell you a little something bout them. I can tell you that they have been by my side no matter what happens. Wont be moving an inch, and I believe even if the world ends, they will still be there. They.... hmm. Haha...
One of them, not to say I dont sayang the other. I swear to God i do... but meh :/ it's so hard to explain, made such a big impact to me, and my self esteem, God knows, I'm grateful of this EVERYDAY. No, I'm not lucky I'm blessed. Yes. God knows how much "terharu" moments I have when we are together. (Wow, I like using God in almost all my sentences. hahahaa cuz its so damn true!) cuz she can be so caring. Lemme give you a hint to what extent. She takes care of me when I'm high or low despite her own problems. Like we all have pending colloqs, but she'd be giving me encouragement. Why is that I always need to be encouraged? Why am I so weak? (Ya ampun, nak nangis la when I think of her. Why does she get a dumb dumb like me as a friend.) ALWAYS so patient even though I CAN be super annoying at times. She'd do things, no one would do, hmm okay I'm not gonna tell what she did exactly. Cuz its embarassing for me la~
 |
| Introducing..... Pauline Choong! |
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| *cough* She is single btw *cough* |
Such a caring person, who knows under that fierce face of hers, that glares and stares she does if she doesn't know you.... underneath ALL that is a sweetheart. Oh, speaking of the devil, she asked for my link, she must be a stalker! Its like she knows that I'm talking bout her. Well, I have to finish this post first. (this is a very late post btw!) I can go on and on about her la. One day I shall publish a post about her la, one fine day~ Our journey won't end here. I believe that we will continue on growing together side by side. Oh ya have I mentioned that, I REALLY REALLY VALUE our friendship. Cuz why? She is so supportive, NEVER in my mind have I ever seen her as my "rival"! YES we always go through the same shit, but when we go through them, I felt like we go through them together. Helping each other so BOTH of us can reach the finish line TOGETHER. It's something I've never felt before. To be at the finishing line together, not racing to the finishing line. All in all, I felt like, she is just so sincere. I still remember a friend of mine in TMC once told me that everyone in this world is selfish. I don't see that in her. she is SELFLESS. If I won the 6 grammy awards, I'll just hand all of that to her.I really look up at her, a strong ninja. A real friend, no, not a friend. a sister. yea, that sounds right. My twin sister. Hahah. we SAME SAME ......but DIFFERENT. One of the people that I sayang gila babi. If I take dope, I definitely know I need her more than dope :D
 |
| I'll trade these things anytime for you. :3 |
What is the purpose of this post? I dont know too. I just felt like posting these things. Well, you know kan, I've been staring at the ceiling. Wondering what did I do? To deserve such amazing people around me? I can still remember my last post about me wondering what kind of friend am I? Maybe this is a part two.
I am the type of person who values friends. Maybe cuz when I was growing, I dont know how feels to have the real mother-daughter or father-daughter bond thingy. I dont share them my secrets. Yea I am a secretive person! But I tend to open myself up to my friends. I've always believed that other than my family.. true friends will never leave too. FUUUWAH so jiwang, but true, for my special friends, who've earned a special place in my heart, I'd wanna do anything to make them feel better. I'd wanna help them selflessly, and if I have a boyfriend, I know I'll put them as my priority, then my boyfriend/lover. Hmm now, I'm gonna sleep, its 6pm. Yeah my sleeping pattern sucks!
