Why hello beautiful. How are you? Its been a while hasn't it? Well now I'm back. Cuz there is no other place I can turn to. I cant go on twitter, because its too public and hell no to facebook. So here I am. Typing what's on my mind at 4.30am. I need to let it out but I dont want to let the whole world know. Then I thought,"I used to have a blog called her confessions or something, what happened to it?" Yeap. It's perfect cuz no one is blogging anymore. On my new feed, the last blog posted was like 8 months ago? Seriously? Why are they not touching their blogs when I dont touch mine? (Eceh eceh, porahshan ;) jk!)
So as I was saying I needed to let something out. Before I continue, I just wanna say, I read my last blog and it was about me missing my bitches. It was about me not enjoying a shit cuz I was alone! Funny thing cuz recently I wrote something about being alone. I should scan it and post it here.
Yea, anyway, so I woke up, just now from a very horrible dream (of me jumping of the building- weird right?!) and saw someone very dear to me, cry. All by herself. Oh the pain that struck my heart at the moment. It was bitter and painful. I went to the toilet to gather my strenght. And then I attempted to console her (a fucking failure btw) I dont know what's happening to her.. I really dont. I want to help her. But I dont know how.
Oh.my.God.
I'm probably the worst sister she ever had. I wanna help her. But she wont let me. Is it because she doesn't trust me anymore? We used to share everything (clothes, panties, toothbrush, secrets.....) I'm not there when she is at her lowest. I feel so shitty. Shit. It's sad. I dont know what's going on. It hurts me to see her getting hurt and not know what it is. FUCK. My fucking biochem finals is this Friday. I dont think I can do it. I'm too distracted. I don't know what's going on with my own best friend. Heck, am I even worthy of calling her that? Ke.....I je shock sendiri. Only there for her when she is happy, absent when she is sad. Oh God. Please ease her heart. Please. Something is bugging her and I want to be the shoulder she cries on. I want to be her best friend. I wanna be there for her. I just wish she could be more honest to me.. that's all I'm asking. Santa, for this Christmas I want nothing but happiness for my лучшие подруга. And I want her trust unless.... she never trusted and see me as how I see her. But no! Im not going to doubt her. I of all people should understand. It's her character, to not be able to express herself. But she can change me, I'll help her change for the better.
She always hint that she wants to be alone. But I want her to enjoy moments with company, it explains why I always tag along. Am I over doing things? I hope if she dont want my presence she can just tell me cuz I don't want to be that annoying bitch. Shit I can feel a depressing week is coming. I have to brace it.
So as I was saying I needed to let something out. Before I continue, I just wanna say, I read my last blog and it was about me missing my bitches. It was about me not enjoying a shit cuz I was alone! Funny thing cuz recently I wrote something about being alone. I should scan it and post it here.
Yea, anyway, so I woke up, just now from a very horrible dream (of me jumping of the building- weird right?!) and saw someone very dear to me, cry. All by herself. Oh the pain that struck my heart at the moment. It was bitter and painful. I went to the toilet to gather my strenght. And then I attempted to console her (a fucking failure btw) I dont know what's happening to her.. I really dont. I want to help her. But I dont know how.
Oh.my.God.
I'm probably the worst sister she ever had. I wanna help her. But she wont let me. Is it because she doesn't trust me anymore? We used to share everything (clothes, panties, toothbrush, secrets.....) I'm not there when she is at her lowest. I feel so shitty. Shit. It's sad. I dont know what's going on. It hurts me to see her getting hurt and not know what it is. FUCK. My fucking biochem finals is this Friday. I dont think I can do it. I'm too distracted. I don't know what's going on with my own best friend. Heck, am I even worthy of calling her that? Ke.....I je shock sendiri. Only there for her when she is happy, absent when she is sad. Oh God. Please ease her heart. Please. Something is bugging her and I want to be the shoulder she cries on. I want to be her best friend. I wanna be there for her. I just wish she could be more honest to me.. that's all I'm asking. Santa, for this Christmas I want nothing but happiness for my лучшие подруга. And I want her trust unless.... she never trusted and see me as how I see her. But no! Im not going to doubt her. I of all people should understand. It's her character, to not be able to express herself. But she can change me, I'll help her change for the better.
She always hint that she wants to be alone. But I want her to enjoy moments with company, it explains why I always tag along. Am I over doing things? I hope if she dont want my presence she can just tell me cuz I don't want to be that annoying bitch. Shit I can feel a depressing week is coming. I have to brace it.
