Someone once told me, "Stop pleasing everybody. Stop doing things you don't want to do just so others are happy." Then I defended myself, "I'm not, why don't you trust me?"
"Because I can see it in your face."
Truth be told, no one understands this part of me. People are quick to label me as a people-pleaser. I am not, cuz if I am, I'd do everything I can to make EVERYONE happy. That would include making allllllll my homies, groupies and friends happy. Well, are they? They are happy, but not because of me!
From that day on, I became aware of what I do and after watching myself I realised I don't just please anyone. Pfft. Why in the world would I waste time and energy on people that's not important to me? I keep the people I love happy by doing things that would etch a smile on their face. No no, you read it right, I'd etch a smile. I don't understand this part of me. I enjoy seeing everyone happy that's all. Is that such a big crime? Cuz doing so makes me happy! So, I don't think I'm a people-pleaser but just what am I? I never get an answer until today when I watched a drama called "Marriage Not Dating"
Joo Jang Mi: You must still love your husband.
Shin Bong Hyang: Love?
Joo Jang Mi: You're maintaining your marriage.
Shin Bong Hyang: That's all I have. My family's happiness is my happiness. My family's life is my life. If I deny that, my whole life would be meaningless. It was a hard life. If nothing were left, I'd feel so empty.
Joo Jang Mi: Gi Tae's the only person I have too, that's why I needed to work. I thought I would lose him if I only relied on him. I didn't want to be sad that he only cared this much about me when he was my whole life. I didn't want to torment him that way. I want to enjoy his company for a long, long time.
Shin Bong Hyang: But why are you doing this? Why do you try so hard to understand me, and to be understood by me?
Joo Jang Mi: You and I love the same man.
Something about this scene, made me speechless. It is as if I could relate. Especially this line.
That's all I have. My family's happiness is my happiness. My family's life is my life. If I deny that, my whole life would be meaningless. It was a hard life. If nothing were left, I'd feel so empty.
I understood well what she meant. I felt her. We can't help it if we are connected with the people we love. As for Bong Hyang, she felt happy if her family is. I can totally relate. You don't know how much of Amens was I reciting in my heart during this scene.
Then the son Gi Tae called the mother (Bong Hyang)
Gong Gi Tae: What are you doing?
Shin Bong Hyang: I was drinking with Jang Mi. She actually has the same illness as me.
Gong Gi Tae: What do you mean?
Shin Bong Hyang: She'd do anything to be acknowledged by others.
Gong Gi Tae: Yeah, at first I liked her because she was so different from you, but I realize she's just like you, though her style is a bit different. Both won't mind their own business, or leave others alone, and torments them...
My diagnosis is, I too have their illnesses. You can't blame me for that. It's an illness, and you can see it as a blessing or a curse. But yea, maybe all this while, I just want to be acknowledge? I have no idea. But I understand their kind of love. Their love is like a python, they won't leave others alone, and won't mind their business, they torment the people they love. Well, I have to say, it's sad that others see it as "torment" when we mean it to be the exact opposite. Remember when I mention about etching a smile on their face? We are somewhat forcing a smile by craving/engrave a curved line onto their face. Without us realising, we have done harm to them. We are "tormenting" them with our love? They won't be happy. That would make us unhappy too. So in the end, we become unhappy because of our own doing. :( they say too much of anything is also bad. So my conclusion is, I'll learn to reduce that "characteristic" or however you call it. Because, I don't want to drive anyone out of my life just cuz I've "tormented" them with my love. I want to learn to want to be alone. I want to learn to be less caring and be more selfish. Just a wee bit more. Is that too much to ask?
"Because I can see it in your face."
Truth be told, no one understands this part of me. People are quick to label me as a people-pleaser. I am not, cuz if I am, I'd do everything I can to make EVERYONE happy. That would include making allllllll my homies, groupies and friends happy. Well, are they? They are happy, but not because of me!
From that day on, I became aware of what I do and after watching myself I realised I don't just please anyone. Pfft. Why in the world would I waste time and energy on people that's not important to me? I keep the people I love happy by doing things that would etch a smile on their face. No no, you read it right, I'd etch a smile. I don't understand this part of me. I enjoy seeing everyone happy that's all. Is that such a big crime? Cuz doing so makes me happy! So, I don't think I'm a people-pleaser but just what am I? I never get an answer until today when I watched a drama called "Marriage Not Dating"
Joo Jang Mi: You must still love your husband.
Shin Bong Hyang: Love?
Joo Jang Mi: You're maintaining your marriage.
Shin Bong Hyang: That's all I have. My family's happiness is my happiness. My family's life is my life. If I deny that, my whole life would be meaningless. It was a hard life. If nothing were left, I'd feel so empty.
Joo Jang Mi: Gi Tae's the only person I have too, that's why I needed to work. I thought I would lose him if I only relied on him. I didn't want to be sad that he only cared this much about me when he was my whole life. I didn't want to torment him that way. I want to enjoy his company for a long, long time.
Shin Bong Hyang: But why are you doing this? Why do you try so hard to understand me, and to be understood by me?
Joo Jang Mi: You and I love the same man.
Something about this scene, made me speechless. It is as if I could relate. Especially this line.
That's all I have. My family's happiness is my happiness. My family's life is my life. If I deny that, my whole life would be meaningless. It was a hard life. If nothing were left, I'd feel so empty.
I understood well what she meant. I felt her. We can't help it if we are connected with the people we love. As for Bong Hyang, she felt happy if her family is. I can totally relate. You don't know how much of Amens was I reciting in my heart during this scene.
Then the son Gi Tae called the mother (Bong Hyang)
Gong Gi Tae: What are you doing?
Shin Bong Hyang: I was drinking with Jang Mi. She actually has the same illness as me.
Gong Gi Tae: What do you mean?
Shin Bong Hyang: She'd do anything to be acknowledged by others.
Gong Gi Tae: Yeah, at first I liked her because she was so different from you, but I realize she's just like you, though her style is a bit different. Both won't mind their own business, or leave others alone, and torments them...
My diagnosis is, I too have their illnesses. You can't blame me for that. It's an illness, and you can see it as a blessing or a curse. But yea, maybe all this while, I just want to be acknowledge? I have no idea. But I understand their kind of love. Their love is like a python, they won't leave others alone, and won't mind their business, they torment the people they love. Well, I have to say, it's sad that others see it as "torment" when we mean it to be the exact opposite. Remember when I mention about etching a smile on their face? We are somewhat forcing a smile by craving/engrave a curved line onto their face. Without us realising, we have done harm to them. We are "tormenting" them with our love? They won't be happy. That would make us unhappy too. So in the end, we become unhappy because of our own doing. :( they say too much of anything is also bad. So my conclusion is, I'll learn to reduce that "characteristic" or however you call it. Because, I don't want to drive anyone out of my life just cuz I've "tormented" them with my love. I want to learn to want to be alone. I want to learn to be less caring and be more selfish. Just a wee bit more. Is that too much to ask?
